If you’ve lived in the Netherlands for a while and are wondering just how Dutch you’ve become, here’s a handy list. 


1. You keep a waterproof jacket and trousers in a drawer in your desk. Nothing will stop you from cycling and only tourists wear polythene.  

 

2. You have a bag full of orange accessories stashed at the top of the wardrobe ready for King’s Day.

 

3. You have a bag full of pink accessories stashed next to the orange ones at the top of the wardrobe ready for Gay Pride.

 

4. You recognise vomit puddles on the pavement as an alternative signage for ‘Coffee Shop’.

 

5. You think it quite normal that a verb at the end of the sentence is.

 

6. You no longer do a frantic head-turn when you smell cannabis smoke in the air. You just inhale.

 

7. You know the difference between jong, oud, belegen, and extra belegen 48+ cheese and you use a kaasschaaf to slice them.

 

8.Your sentences contain at least one of: Toch?, ?, Hoor?

 

9. You never bake without cinnamon.

 

10. You own a pair of ice skates and you’re not scared to use them.

 

11. You no longer choke on that phlegm ball when you’re tackling a word with a ‘g’ in it.

 

12. You let your kids play with nails, hammers and fire. Health and what?

Deborah Nicholls-Lee

Deborah Nicholls-Lee is a freelance journalist who moved to the Netherlands from the UK in 2009. She is the founder of Clean Page Copy, a proofreading and copywriting service for non-native speakers of English. See her website to find out more about her work.